The 'Original Ending' is the name given to the original draft of the Van Helsinki script, which diverges somewhat from the version filmed and shown on screen. The point of divergence is just after Van Helsinki and Fay Loren escape the shed and begin searching for Geoff Vampire.

The Original EndingEdit

For the script itself, see The 'Original Ending' (transcript).

The script begins with the same lines as spoken in the actual film. However, instead of Creepy Man immediately appearing, Van and Fay instead clear the house again, finding no sign of Geoff. They exit the house, bump into Creepy Man, and the conversation plays out as in the final film. However, when Van claims that 'the deal's off' in the original ending, he does not shoot Fay but simply leaves. The confrontation between Van and Geoff takes place inside the church, not outside, and Van does not shoot at Geoff, but instead attacks him with a steak (NOT a stake). Geoff punches Van backwards, and beats him up fairly similar to seen in the finished film. However, instead of preparing to stamp on his face, Geoff instead tries to bite Van, only for Fay to enter and shoot at Geoff. Geoff replies with the 'bullets do bugger all' line. Fay backs off, but Van throws her the steak, and she uses both stake and steak to impale Geoff, who dies with the final line 'Oh, I am slain'. Fay helps Van up, and the detective immediately calls Professor Ford. The two agree to go for a drink together.

The rest of the cast appear standing where Ford and the Inspector have been. The Inspector calls in that the job is done, and leaves. Man and Jim skip off romantically together, and Svetlana leaves to wash her hair. Woman asks for somebody to help her with cleaning up, and Creepy Man offers, only for Woman to tell him to 'piss off'.

Reasons for changeEdit

There were four main reasons why the Original Ending was changed in the final cut

  • Time issues
  • Cast issues
  • Tonal issues
  • Shooting issues.

The second house searching scene was cut to save time. Mischa Purnell, playing Fay, could not make the last day of shooting, meaning she had to be cut from the final fight, and killed off to explain this. The darker tone that this caused meant that the last scene, with the rest of the cast, was cut for being 'too settled', though it had actually already been filmed. Finally, the church was closed, and some cast emembers epressed doubts about filming a fight scene in a church, causing the fight to take place outsid


Several parts of the end film did survive the cuts, however. Most notable is Geoff's line 'First rule of vampire slaying, darling. Bullets to bugger all,' originally directed at Fay (hence the 'darling'), is in the final cut directed at Van instead. Likewise, Man and Jim skipping off appears after the shed fight, and Woman leaves after them. Svetlana is the one left alone at the end of this scene.