The House, as Geoff approaches it

The House (described as a 'Number 1 Lestat House') is where most of the action of the first and second acts of Van Helsinki takes place. It is where Man and Woman live prior to the film taking place. It is taken over by Geoff Vampire for a while, and then presumably reverts back to Man and Woman's control after (though the original ending implies Man left with Jim and Woman lived alone after that).

The House is seen as having:

The ground floor

  • A hallway (where the front door is located, and where Van Helsinki and Fay enter)
  • A living room (where the striptease takes place)
  • A kitchen (where the back door is located, and where Woman lies on the table while 'dead')
  • Another room (never seen, but Fay walks into it, causing crashing)

The lower levels

  • A pantry (where Svetlana is imprisoned)
  • Stairs down to the pantry (where Geoff decends to look for Svetlana)


  • A landing (where Van Helsinki meets Creepy Man and is knocked out)
  • At least two rooms (which Van Helsinki enters while looking for Geoff, one of which contains a teapot, and another which Svetlana changes in)
  • A mid-landing (where Fay shelters from gunfire during the gunfight)


Behind the scenes and triviaEdit

  • The house in which most of Van Helsinki was filmed actually is laid out roughly as The House is, although the real house has more rooms. One of these 'extra rooms' is used as Van Helsinki's bedroom.