Van Helsinki suffers several injuries over the course of the film.


  • Bashed over the head with a baseball bat by Man
  • Brainwashed with electricity
  • Bashed in the face by Man
  • Cut by Svetlana
  • Ran through the night to the church
  • Hit by Geoff's keyboard
  • Punched in the face
  • Kicked several times
  • Hand stamped on and broken
  • Face-stomped twice

By the end of the film, Van is suffering at least one broken hand, brusing to ribs and face, a cut deep enough to draw blood from the lower chest/gut, and almost certainly serious head injuries. Somehow, he has run through the night with a deep cut in his gut and a badly bashed up face.

His survival after the fade-out of the film is up for debate, due to this.